SOCIAL ANXIETY
Today,
like most mornings, after preparing breakfast, lunch, snacks and grabbing my
liquid energy, I sat down to relax in my favorite comfy chair for an hour
before joining the throngs of workers getting ready for yet another day at “the
office.” First there’s Instagram: a family of 5 all smiling at the kale/beet
snack mommy made, a friend strolling the streets of Croatia, another biking in
sunflower fields. Then on to Facebook which has its own show of sailboat
sunsets, swimmers in Caribbean waters and weddings, food, and… just about
anything. Even “old school” texting and emailing is adding ways
to send photos
and clips.
No
doubt, social media plays a huge role in the lives of most people. What once
was gossiping over the garden fence, to dialing up the princess phone, to
texting has now elevated to an all out competitive session that can be cropped,
edited and filtered so that even the sorriest-looking, mundane donut can be have
the appearance of a French croissant being eaten at a street café
in the middle
of Venice, from your own back yard.
It is
indeed a media-saturated age that has everyone desperate to be perceived in the
eyes of the world as the cutest, wittiest or most energetic; trying to make
anyone and everyone they can “green” with envy. But in reality, often, there is
a stark contrast between: what is truth
and what is touched up. Let’s face it. Even the most confident among us feel a
stab of jealousy (I wish that were me) and anxiety (am I doing something
wrong?) at times scrolling through the lives of our “friends”. (A topic for
another day…the drive for likes generated by the amount of people one can
accrue to their account!) Mind you, all this is happening even though we all
know, because we all do it, that posts are carefully and critically edited to
create the incredibly perfect scenario. It’s hard to remind yourself that
highly selected and filtered photos can be deceiving. Mental health professionals call it the
compare-and-despair factor.
Unfortunately,
social media anxiety has risen to epidemic levels. Sure, we’ve all compared
ourselves to our peers in the classroom and later on as adults, but not all of
us felt the need to “keep up with the Joneses”. Today, sadly enough, the
comparison is world-wide all via a touch of the screen; the “neighborhood” got
bigger and the stakes larger. People begin to label themselves in a negative,
unhealthy way that forces anyone using social media to constantly monitor the
way they present themselves. This is
serious since it’s a fact that since social media, self-esteem has dropped in
all age groups (Google: negative effect on self esteem and social
media; you’ll be surprised).
Think
about it. Although the world is constantly surrounded by/with instant
interaction, people have never felt more alone (Google: social media and lonliness).
Look around you at your next outing. What does everyone seem to be doing?
Holding a mini computer to their faces. Times are sad when you see two
people dressed up for dinner only to be engaged with their phones instead of
each other. And this doesn’t even take into account the effect all this media
is having on the next generation.
The
truth of the matter is that we all crave attention. But instead of this
constant one-up-manship, what people really need to recognize is that it is not
an external existence that shows how smart/successful/accomplished – you fill
in the blank- you are, but an inner feeling of contentedness. No amount of
filter or cropping will cover our flaws; instead, we need to accept ourselves
for who we are. How you feel about yourself and how you perceive yourself
is
directly related; heart and mind.
So.
Where does one draw the line? What is a healthy balance (since we’ll not fool
ourselves into thinking social media is leaving the internet any time soon)?
First take a look at how long you stare/spend time looking at everyone else’s
“perfect” life and recognize if you are obsessed with striving to look just as
good if not better. Then honestly think about how this makes you feel: Happy? Or Depressed and Emotionally depleted. If this is you, it’s time to take a break.
Perhaps limit your internet time. Do something else. Take a walk. Read a book.
Invite a friend out for lunch (no phones at the table). Visit the library, the
beach, a museum. Remember. The noise in your head can be louder than the noise
on the street. Giving yourself a digital Sabbath each week –just one day living
for 24 hours without checking devices – could be the solution to re-balancing
(a reboot) ourselves; Ahhh, a routine
that allows space for breathing.
Go ahead try it. I’ll see you on the
towpath…Carpe diem!
