MUSIC TO MY EARS 

Music is music to my ears. If you were to look at my playlist you would see anything from lullabies to Club, Soul, Classical, New Age, Gospel; it is a salad bowl of anything goes, in several languages. Of course, like most people, I sort my music into specific playlists, but when I am out walking, I listen to all my songs in alphabetical order so there is A LOT of diversity. “A Lovely Night” to “Zero”; Disney, Chicago, Rush, Earth, Wind and Fire, Big Generator.  There is “Christmas Island” by Jimmy Buffet, (the song I’ve listened to the most: 292 times!) and “By the Light of the Moon” by D Simonet (that I still have not listened to).

This mix up is a result of the fact that I just plain love music. I am not much of a musical instrument player even though I took lessons in piano, organ and flute. But my mind is programmed to HEAR music. There is no such thing as “background” music in my world. For example, I cannot read a book while music is playing because I am concentrating on the musical instruments, how they are playing separately and/or the harmonious sounds…then just add a singer and I can do nothing else but be all ears.

It is a known fact that often, listening to music conjures thoughts or moods that one attaches to specific songs, melodies or words. For example: when I hear “Amazing Grace” I am back in my sandbox as a child, belting it out, “You are my Sunshine” is my marriage mantra, “Back to the Islands” transports me to St John where I love spending time with my family. “Better together” is for Eddie, “Mexico” for Brian and Melanie “Cheeseburger in Paradise” for Scott, “Hallelujah” for Matthew and Deborah, “Butterfly Kisses” for Kaitlyn and “How Deep is the Ocean” for Olivia and Avery. And for every birthday we must play “(They say it’s your) Birthday” (Beatles).                        

You must understand what I am saying. After all, who of us cannot say that at one time or another a song or snippet of a tune gets stuck in your mind? Over and over the melody rolls around inside your head. Yes, Willie sometimes “Always on my Mind” can be an experience. Music can move you to tears, send you dancing, relax your senses and soothe your worries. It lulls babies to sleep, reminds the elderly of younger days, inspires one to work out and searches for or has found the most sung about topic: Love.

Music resonates across all language and ages. It must be an important facet of life as the mediums used during my lifetime have spanned from records (they took up so much room) → 8 track tapes (what are these?) → cassette tapes (Walkmans/all those tapes!) → CDs (now coasters) → downloads/streaming (cloud anyone?). But this is just proof that music will always have an effect on us.

So go ahead. Turn up the tunes! Let your fingers snap, hands clap and feet tap! Carpe this Diem!

 SPRING SONG

As I write this in early March, it is a balmy 32 degrees Fahrenheit, the wind is spitefully brisk and biting and the need to go outside requires bundling up. Yet, although cold, the air is clear and crisp, the sun bright and the sky blue-blue. Slowly, the period of extended light has been increasing microscopically every day since winter solstice (as Eddie likes to remind me starting December 21) and now it is noticeably brighter at 6:30 PM!

I know, I know. This is nothing new and it happens every year, but the slow, small, subtle signs of impending Spring is a joy to me. Spring is almost here! Even before it has arrived, I can imagine the sweet smell of buds bursting open on the magnolia tree in the brilliance of more light; I can hear the joyous cadence of chickadees and robins calling one another to explore the new warmth; I can feel the vibrations of anticipation that adds bounce in our steps; I can see new beauty popping out all around waking up from the long, frozen, crusty winter. Blades of green grass shooting up! Iris’ peeping out of the dirt! Leaves slowly unfurling on the trees! The scent of splashing raindrops washing all things new! Spring is the season of renewal; new life; new beginnings. Who does not love Spring? Spring begs you to throw open your windows and draw up the blinds so the wonderful revival of weather can come indoors. The aromas, sensations, sights and sounds of Spring! If I had created the calendar, March would be the first month; the month that begins the year.

This reoccurring, exciting, anticipated phenomenon, Spring, comes every year regardless of what is happening in the world. Just when you think you have had more than your share of cold, bleak winter, Spring comes around the corner and embraces us with refreshing, reinvigorating revitalization. Sometimes it is earlier, sometimes later or sometimes Spring teases us with a day here and another there, but reassuringly, it always comes. It is this sense of expectancy that keeps us going during drowsy, frosty, chilly days; the ice will melt (!!) and the earth will thaw. Just as the word itself indicates, Spring will spring!

The good book says there is a season for everything, a time for every purpose under heaven. Spring is the season for healing, laughing, planting and building up each other. Dance a little, search a little, mend, embrace and love one another.

So, for the next few weeks I’m going to consciously pay attention to: warm rays of the sunshine on my face; the sound of crashing ocean waves throwing salty mist; gentle, shifting breezes with the fragrant smell of new buds sprouting; rustling leaves filling out the trees; chirping birds building nests for their young.

Breathe deep, my friends. Do not doubt the remarkable continuance of the seasons. Spring is near. Carpe Diem!

~ “Spring adds new Life and new Beauty to all that is” – Jessica Harrelson

The Power of Why

 

A few months back I had the wonderful opportunity of spending a whole week with one of my grandchildren. It struck me during this time, that childhood provides a quality of specialness that nearly vanishes for the rest of life once one is considered “grownup”. As parents, we are occupied with the “busy-ness” of life and often miss the small moments that grandparents are granted: to see their offspring in a different perspective; to watch their grandchildren grow. Since becoming a grandmother two years ago my granddaughter has grown from a tiny infant to an active and engaged little person.

Coupled with all the endearing things small children can say, the question “Why?” becomes a recurring reminder that young children are constantly trying to figure out their surroundings. It is also a reminder that as older, smarter adults, we don’t always have an easy answer that will suit their curiosity. In fact, after a question is posed nearly 100 times on the same topic, in a 20 minute span, you want to throw Why out of the dictionary. (I mean how do you explain why, to a two and a half year old, the water has to do down the drain after bath time, where it goes and why the bar of soap doesn't also disappear!) But isn’t it true that without “Why” there is no purpose, no meaning for all the rest of life. The Whos Whats Whens Wheres are only defined by the Whys. Why puts things in context, it helps us understand the reasons for our behaviors.

Of course, a young child isn’t processing all this as they maneuver through life’s journey, but isn’t it amazing that they have figured out at such a young age the need to define their little world; they have figured out the power of why (aside from the fact that if they ask “Why?” enough times, Grammie’s probably going to go comatose and need a nap). As growing children, they absorb everything like a sponge and are clever enough to assimilate what is presented to them. (Disclaimer: one certainly must watch what they say in front of these pint-sized repeating machines – you might have some explaining to your own set of Whys!).

We can learn from these inquisitive youngsters. Equipped with the answers to Why, we can achieve the Hows.  I think us “grownups” have to remember that we need to question more; hold on to inquisitiveness; look for new aspirations in life; don’t just rush through life, really focus on the meanings. Spending time with a young child sloooooows down your life; everything is looked at closer, longer and with a furrowed brow.

The clock is ticking. Time is precious. The childhood of my own children passed like a blink, I’m sure with each generation it gets quicker. Go ahead. Renew your eagerness for knowledge. You can never search too much. You are at an age where no one is going to question your curious intellect. Pry a little. Meddle a bit. Explore, analysis and question. Never stop questioning. Why – there it is again- would you ever do that?

Carpe Diem!

 LONG DAYS SHORT YEARS

The first time I heard the phrase “The days are long but the years are short” was from a 95 year old man. My initial reaction was, “How can someone who has lived this long think his time has been short?” This had quite the impact on me as, I thought, obviously, he has experienced this; he knows what he’s talking about. As we look over our own lives we can see how true this is: a mother who is trying to soothe a child that is teething, a tedious work day that just doesn’t go right, anxiety over a future surgery – these are long days. In fact, there are a multitude of events in Life that can suspend you in time for a day that makes them seem like forever; but when you look back each New Year, regardless of your age, isn’t it true you find yourself exclaiming “Can it be another year has passed?!”

Now that I’m 60 and have been married 42 years, I feel I’ve reached a milestone that loudly states Life is a hill and I’ve passed the summit; 95 doesn’t seem so far away in years. There’s so much to accomplish with (maybe) only 35 years left, and yet…the days often hold us back; encumbered with the distractions and busy-ness of “getting” through the day.

If only we could realize Now is Now and Now and Now. What I mean is, if we don’t see Now as Now, we will lose out on all the Nows of today; because it will be Now later too. Not taking advantage of Now now means it becomes then. In time, now is this continual gray area of existence that is sandwiched between what was and what is to come. Perhaps the trick to making the longer days more meaningful is seeing the gratitude of “what happened earlier” and the anticipation of “what is to come” as it turns into Now. Then we truly realize that the best Now is now.

Here we have it: 365 days that have passed where you realize you are still healthy and your family still loves you; and we have 365 (if all’s well) more sunrises full of possibilities to experience Now. Life can’t be tidied up into a neat little list of outcomes. No, Life is about living. Now. Growing, Learning, Discovering, Engaging.  Think about your last New Year. Surely you had many interesting possibilities; many you had no idea you’d meet before the year began. Of course, no one knows the future, but you can keep your curiosity about Life open. You never know what’s around the corner.

Another saying from another dear 95 year old man I knew often said, “Time and tide wait for no man”. So find things that motivate you. Question everything (Yay! You’ve finally reached the age you can and get away with it!). Pursue experiences that bring out a more alive and interesting version of you. Don’t squander away the opportunity of Now. Don’t set the bar too high; remember the adage “One day at a time”. Stop waiting for your Life to begin and start making the most of the moments you are in. Now!

Carpe Diem 2021!

 COVID Year

The last days of Summer and Fall are bittersweet for me each year. Not only because Summer is my personal favorite season, but because with the end of the warmer, pleasant weather, we begin to hibernate and hunker down in our homes; of course, for most of us this 2020 Spring/Summer/Fall, that’s been the norm. I’ve always considered myself lucky to live in the northeast where our lives are defined by the seasons, but for most of this year, there was no distinction between the seasons; they seemed to blur into one big COVID 19 season. Summer, usually filled with travel excursions and bright, sunny fun-filled beach days and Fall, with its apple pumpkin picking has been different in every way; we’ve had to make the best of being isolated.

Humans are social creatures by design, however, this year many hours have been spent alone at home, often attached to our laptops/ipads/phones. This would seem like a silent way to spend our days, but the endless bombardment of news and gossip that often had nothing positive to give made many manic information addicts.

All this has made me a bit melancholy about the last 9 months; can we have a do over? Can’t we relive 2020? Farmer’s markets, boardwalk strolls, ice cream trips, outdoor concerts…they just don’t seem the same with a mask on. In our family, we celebrated, from the “safety” of our homes the birth of a granddaughter, seven birthdays –one 60th milestone, one 2 years-, a 42^nd wedding anniversary and a Retirement after 33 years. It all seems like such a loss that we weren’t able to celebrate these milestones with the pizazz they deserve.

Yet, the one thing that I have learned through all this is a realization that most of life is simple and often we make it busy and complicated. What may look like repetition: a bunch of dull, uninspiring, lackluster things we must do over and over and over again is actually the necessary movements of Life. What may seem mundane and boring should actually be viewed at as moments of Gratitude.

Let me explain. If you are bored and nothing “exciting” is going on in your Life, that means, you still woke up to another day of possibilities. That means your loved ones still love and appreciate you. That means you are healthy enough to put your two feet forward. So when we lay our head on our pillow at night, we should reflect on the amazing things we have in the midst of ordinary.

So chin up! It’s time to re-focus and look forward with a sense of anticipation. Somewhere in the near future we will have a special sense of renewal and inspiration. Like in the wake of a tragedy, it will be time to re-group and reflect. If we all take a deep deep breathe, perhaps we can spend some time cherishing the times we can be together; because, as we have experienced in this year, Life as we know it, can change in an instant.

Although there is a place for quiet breaks in Life -they point to a learning that requires patience and time (and yes! We’ve done our time!)- they too must end so we get back to practical existence. These months were not ordinary Life but we can once again look forward to living Life fully.

~ Carpe Diem!

Mirror Mirror...

 

Mirror, mirror on the the wall…When is the last time you looked in the mirror? This morning while getting ready for the day? A glimpse when passing through to another room? While quickly brushing your teeth? And what did you see? Of course, I’m not just asking about a precursory glance at your vanity (fine lines, under eye circles, dark spots); because often we detect only our flaws in the looking glass. Instead, I’m asking you to interpret your inner self; the real person, the real image. What did you see? Did you recognize the likeness of yourself?

We all know that inside each of us lives a small voice that tells you who you really are. You can fool everyone around you, you can dress, look and talk the part, but you can never fool that nagging knocking inside your heart that exposes you. Can you look that mirror image straight in the eyes? Go ahead. Gaze at your visage. Lean in. Closer. Contemplate yourself for a moment.  Is this the person others see? Were you faced with a trustworthy, honest, hard-working person? Or a cheating, lying fraud? It’s best to be honest with the (wo)man in the mirror so you can really reflect on the reflection. Do you pass the mirror test? Are there things you want to change? After all, the portrait looking back at you is a representation of your character.

Sometimes, to get the real perspective on an image, we need to change the way we look at things. You know that the mirror on the side of your car reading “Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear” is a safety warning that things are not always as they seem: perceptions. That is why I ask: Are you showing the world an imaginary misrepresentation or a genuine, authentic, bona fide depiction? Is your mirror distorting and magnifying or a clear concise witness of who you are?

Next time you come face to face with the mirror, don’t look for visual perfection, but learn to love the vision you are gazing at and be true to yourself and others. This will help you rise to all kinds of challenges; without altering your true self.

And of course…..Carpe Diem!

Pink Power

Think Pink!

Prickly pink roses, sweet sour grapefruit, juicy watermelon (with seeds please), plump raspberries just off the vine, sugary whipped cupcake icing and strawberry chia smoothies. These are just a few of the favorite things that come to mind when I think pink. Pink is undeniable my favorite color; it has a strong emotional influence on me; a joyful vibe. Those who know me know that I will pick a pale pink shade over every other color choice for most anything: Pink watch, pink shoes, pink umbrella, pink clutches, sweaters, skirts and blouses. If I could have a pink car, I might consider it. But truth be told, I have to have some consideration for those who choose to live with me and bear this obsession. Obviously, a pink house, or all rooms painted pink may just be taking it too far. There are times when I must sacrifice for the good of all and get the inspiration I need from nature: elegant peonies, clematis, tulip and hibiscus flowers; stately cherry blossom and magnolia trees.

It is said that pink is the color of universal love, representing friendship, affection, harmony and inner peace. I couldn’t agree more. If red is the color of passionate love, then pink in all its delicateness must be its sweet side; a combination of red’s aggressive boldness softened by white’s pearly hue. In fact, in psychology, pink is the sign of Hope suggesting you can even empower yourself with pink!

There are some in my family that have this same passion for the color green. I’ll be the first to omit that without the contrast of other colors pink cannot stand out and shine in all its beauty. But there’s no denying that pink is the superior color; the Queen of all things magnificent; splendid, glorious and grand(And because pink would never be condescending, it does this in the most gentlest of ways).

Since studies have confirmed that exposure to large amounts of pink can have a calming effect, I wonder why anyone would even consider refuting the power of pink. Who could ever turn away from the texture of cotton candy dissolving in your mouth, seeing the blush cheeks of an adorable baby, the taste and pop(!) of fun-chewing bubble gum, hearing the oinks of mud happy pigs or the nasal honking of exotic flamingos? When I smell, I even smell pink all around me: like a fruity jolly rancher or tall glass of pink lemonade.

Of course, the shade of pink can make a difference; for some, pink is too feminine (Essie Ballet Slippers), too pale (Benjamin Moore Pink Bliss) or too bold (Valspar Very Berry) . But this just proves that pink is “sugar and spice and everything nice” in between. Pink is Versatile! Creative! Euphoric! Vivacious! Pink is Awe-inspiring!

Wouldn’t you agree that pink is a bubbly, animated, cheerful color? For most of us, most days, that’s exactly what we need: Happiness! Peace! Joy! Just sit back and imagine all things pink and I think you may realize pink is your favorite color too…

Now, how do I convince Eddie to get that pink mini coupe?

Carpe Diem!