I recently read "Forgive & Forget" by Lewis Smedes.
In this wonderful book, I learned the four stages of forgiveness and the whys and how one forgives.
Applying those words of wisdom is another thing.
In many cases, a sincere, simple sorry is enough, but
I learned, first hand, that forgiveness is not always easy.
In fact, it's risky.
It can't be wrapped up into a nice neat package.
In fact, it's risky.
It can't be wrapped up into a nice neat package.
Sometimes descending the mountain that grew from a molehill isn't so easy.
Not too long ago, a neighbor of mine hurt me.
For the longest time I could not understand why he didn't come to me and talk to me if he felt so strongly about an issue.
Instead, he decided to lash out at me behind my back.
When I found out, I was mad. No, I was livid and then hurt; his sting caused a bitterness; it was an ache I could not ignore.
At first, nothing could have forced me to forgive him.
But, over time (yes, time does heal), I was able to see him as the person he is: A loving husband and father.
And surprise! I found myself wishing him and his family well; with respect, without an obligation to one another.
I made a decisive decision to forgive him in my heart and in my mind since he had severed all communication.
I petitioned his wife and asked her to relay the message to him that I no longer found his hurt offensive and if he wanted to talk about it, I was available.
But here was the hard part.
He responded with Silence.
The lesson I learned that day was that some people do not want to be forgiven.
It truly makes the 70X7 forgiveness rule a challenge.
Then, forgiveness is required over and over again.
And although I will continue to wave a greeting in passing, I have come to realize that forgiveness doesn't always turn out the way you want it to; with smiles and hugs.
Yes, forgiveness is risky, but it is a liberating act.
A burden is lifted.
A sigh is released.
Forgiveness has Power.
It frees you from your hurt.
There's no better time than today to find forgiveness.
Seize forgiveness time today.
Not too long ago, a neighbor of mine hurt me.
For the longest time I could not understand why he didn't come to me and talk to me if he felt so strongly about an issue.
Instead, he decided to lash out at me behind my back.
When I found out, I was mad. No, I was livid and then hurt; his sting caused a bitterness; it was an ache I could not ignore.
At first, nothing could have forced me to forgive him.
But, over time (yes, time does heal), I was able to see him as the person he is: A loving husband and father.
And surprise! I found myself wishing him and his family well; with respect, without an obligation to one another.
I made a decisive decision to forgive him in my heart and in my mind since he had severed all communication.
I petitioned his wife and asked her to relay the message to him that I no longer found his hurt offensive and if he wanted to talk about it, I was available.
But here was the hard part.
He responded with Silence.
The lesson I learned that day was that some people do not want to be forgiven.
It truly makes the 70X7 forgiveness rule a challenge.
Then, forgiveness is required over and over again.
And although I will continue to wave a greeting in passing, I have come to realize that forgiveness doesn't always turn out the way you want it to; with smiles and hugs.
Yes, forgiveness is risky, but it is a liberating act.
A burden is lifted.
A sigh is released.
Forgiveness has Power.
It frees you from your hurt.
There's no better time than today to find forgiveness.
Seize forgiveness time today.
What a great reminder! I read Smedes words for the first time in 1980. A lot less to forgive back then....but more about me than others; at 18 I knew so little about my true relationship with the Lord; In our obedience to free ourselves in having a healthy relationship with God, we also offer the freedom to the person that may have wronged us, as well. Offer is the key word; as so eloquently stated, it can be accepted or not. If not accepted, and it hurts us more, like the twist of the dagger, then we know we haven't completely let go of the bitterness. Churches, as a whole go thru this all the time with circumstances, events and individuals...pray for forgiveness to be true, sincere and righteous so that healing can take seed and grow and old, broken relationships can once again be united in the light of new-found verve....thanks for the reminder; may we all take note and re-evaluate our intentions and dedication to healing those broken ties.
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