Eddie's Girl

I've posted this before, but it's worth repeating.
As I get older and the longer I'm married, the more I realize that each year is a gift.

I’m one of the fortunate ones. After 40 years of marriage, my pulse still quickens and my heart pumps harder when I’m with my husband, Eddie. It’s not hard, though, to love him. Everywhere I go, the women all love him and the men find him slightly silly and sappy.

I don’t know if it’s because he once cooked me a heart-shaped meatloaf for Valentine’s Day, or rented me a convertible for a day to drive to “no where”, or rowed me around the lake in Central Park on my birthday; he just knows how to make the special days memorable.

But when it comes down to it, it’s the everyday things that endear Ed most; drawing us closer as the years go by. Each morning starts with freshly ground, whole bean, prepared the night before, brewed coffee. And after we leave for our respective occupations, the occasional “I’m just thinking of you” call keeps us connected. These “ordinary” gestures are reminders of his daily thoughtfulness.

In addition, he is not ashamed to say he loves me; often. Or that I am beautiful; and I instantly feel so. He begins each day whispering in my ear a quiet, drowsy-eyed, “Good Morning” – good to begin a new day together - and ends each one with, “I hope I see you tomorrow” – because we both know, first hand, sometimes tomorrow never comes.

And even more often, Ed’s actions speak louder than his words. The way he looks at me, unexpectedly reaches for my hand, or softly pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. He can speak wordlessly to me from across a crowded room with just a wink. He has cried with me, sighed with me and prayed with me. He tickles, teases and spoils me. When life gets me down, he knows how to turn my up-side-down, in-side-out fears and emotions into calmness; always there with a listening ear and an understanding heart. In his arms I feel secure,
enclosed in warmth.

As a result, many a hug has cheered me and convinced me to go forward. It is because Ed has such a selfless attitude that he is able to bring out the best in me. And his kiss…..well, it’s bliss. For me, Ed is like a ray of sunshine and I like the flower that leans towards him. Naturally then, it a no wonder that the song, “You are my Sunshine” is a favorite of ours.

In this age of liberation for women, I like it when he holds the door for me or carries the groceries into the house. I consider him a gentleman when he pulls my chair out at a restaurant or offers his hand when stepping out of the car.
Chivalry isn’t dead with Ed.

Together, we tackle chores around the house. There are no “his” and “her” lists because we are a team. As a result, often, Ed washes the dishes while I tackle the bills, he bakes up batches of muffins and I hedge the bushes. Our lives revolve around each other. Although we have our separate interests, we always consider each other when making plans; it is a courtesy that has grown out of mutual respect.

Perhaps all this is possible because Ed is comfortable with himself. As a result, he freely shares his feelings and isn’t afraid to laugh at himself (and believe me when I say he takes his share of jabs). His humor and silly side keeps me laughing. We’re not just partners in a journey. We’re friends who share smirks and giggles. This side of our relationship allows us to continue our “courting” throughout life.

A few years back, Ed announced that Friday nights are official “date night”. Together we have had picnics in our bedroom, tea parties by the lake and stargazed in the grass. We compete in bowling, Monopoly and chess. We dine for two with only candlelight on the deck, combine pizza and a movie or just eat ice cream for dinner.

Since our children have grown up and gone their respective ways, I am often asked if I have experienced “empty nest syndrome”. And I always answer, with a smile, that I will never be an empty nester… because I’ll always have Ed.

It hasn’t always been this easy. Married at 18 and 23, most of our friends and family didn’t think we’d last. Labeling us as too young and immature, they were sure we would be a statistic in no time. But they underestimated our commitment to each other. Then we added four children to our home. Sneakers, sports and college tuition kept our funds just above our earnings. But we always remind each other that we are fortunate. We have love and health; everything else in life is a bonus. Early on, as a joke to keep us going, Ed would ask me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And I’d always answer, “Eddie’s girl.” It is our mantra and makes us smile.

Often throughout our marriage he has asked me to “marry” him because we couldn’t afford expensive rings and would joke that as a result, we weren’t “properly” married. Recently, after all this time, he came home, got down on one knee and “proposed” to me, presenting me with a beautiful diamond ring. He has a romantic side also.

However, the old cliché “Opposites attract” is true for us. Ed is a laid back, “whatever happens, happens” spontaneous kind of guy. His clothes lay where he takes them off, he reads several books at once, and his schedules don’t include looking at a watch. On the other hand, I am methodically driven, time obsessed and structured. Although we have had to learn the game of “give and take” over time, being with Ed is like being with the other half of myself. The side that needs to slow down and enjoy this beautiful life we have been blessed with.

That is why my favorite time of day is when we arrive home after work and share our day with each other. Whether we’re snuggling on a rainy day, catching the last rays of sunlight on our deck or walking around the block, talking with Ed helps me put things in perspective. Together, we often tackle and conquer the problems of our little world.

In fact, I’m convinced if there were more of Ed to spread around the world that it would be a better place. Often you can tell how kind a person is by the way they react to small children and animals. Ed is not above getting on the floor, making funny faces or blowing bubbles with the youngest child in the house. And the birds in “our neck of the woods” are ceremoniously fed. Ed keeps a watchful eye on the feeders and provides ample birdhouses for nesting; true signs of a compassionate individual.

Yes, our life together is a comfortable one. If I had the opportunity to exhort the young-to-be-wed, I would tell them they can also live a love story if they put “Communication”, “Respect”, and. “Commitment” on their priority list. With these three ingredients, love falls into place. Naturally.

I’m so grateful to share my life with this man who is so willing to give me such a big part of himself. And, of course, you know by now, that I will always want to be 

Eddie’s girl.